The Many Faces of Esther

Stacie Notariano - Special to theskinnyonbenny.com

The ever-changing pop star Madonna announced today that she plans to change her name to Esther to pay homage to the beloved character Esther Anderson, played by Lawanda Page on the hit series Sanford and Son. “Madonna has been a fan for years,” says her publicist, “She even wears a neck brace from time to time and loves to hurl her pocket-book at Guy Ritchie when they bicker.

"I can really relate to her," Madonna stated, "Her whimsical since of fashion is what first attracted me...her style is so...so...free!"

	Lamont and Fred react to the news while listening to "Material Girl."

If she truly expects to fill the size 11 shoes of Fred’s beloved sister-in-law, Madonna will have to brush up on Esther’s favorite catch phrases including: "You fish-eyed fool!," "Sucka!","Praise Jesus!", and "Shutup, Woodrow!"

Madonna is also considering closing her "Reinvention Tour" with a final show in Watts. Local law enforcement Officers Smith "Smitty" and Hopkins "Hoppy" have agreed to head up and coordinate security for the event.

When reached for comment, Fred Sanford said, "She’s so ugly that if you pressed her face in some dough... you'd have gorilla cookies." Grady Wilson, a long time friend of the family also commented, "Good goobly goo! I gotta go call Bubba and Skillet!"

While pillaging the Sanford sideboard for some ripple, Lamont’s sidekick, Rollo Lawson was noticeably thrilled when he heard the news, "oooh oooh, yeah baby girl is fine, pops!" Neighbor and competing junk dealer Julio Fuentes was also pleased to hear the news, "ay Caramba! Senora Madonna, es muy bonito."

The Big Dummy could not be reached for comment.

The Sellout(Why?)

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